My daughter has an infatuation with playing pirates. There’s something about hunting for treasure that just gets her excited to the point that she actually jumps up and down with joy while starting every sentence with “arrrggghhhh” and ending with “me hearties”.
My handy mom made a pirate ship out of cardboard, sticky tape, glue and paint for her favourite (and only) grandchild. Looks fantastic to say the least!
Yesterday morning I agreed to play pirates AGAIN and partake in a treasure hunt. She would hide some booty (pirate talk for treasure, in case you landlubbers didn’t know), and then make a map for me. This keeps her busy for some time, so while I wait I get some gardening time in. I decided to de-poop the yard (thanks furry kids for the stinky presents). While I’m still busy with the poop-scoop, scooping the poop, my girl starts barraging me with “yo-ho-ho, MOM mom mommy mom… I’m done, yo-ho-ho, come mom, let’s play mom… mom mom mom, come mommy, please mommy”.
My brain actually goes numb when the non-stop “MOM MOM MOM MOM” floodgates open. I get a little flustered (I am pregnant after all, cut me some slack) and I declare very voluminously: “baby I’ll be there in a minute, I’m still busy pooping!!!!” (What I wanted to say is poop-scooping but my tongue and my brain decided to just conveniently skip that part.)
In my mind the entire neighbourhood comes to a standstill. Then I hear it… the neighbour’s young son laughing hysterically, screeching gleefully; “mommy mommy, did you hear that? The neighbour lady is busy pooping! Hahaha…”
Oh man. We just moved in, but maybe it’s a good time to move out.